The strange stress buzz I feel inside when I know it is time to take time to listen to my heart when there is something that my inner Self/voice is trying to tell me....usually to stop, sit there and Be with mySelf. & my feelings.  Then I am able to release and find peace again. It's a reminder to trust and surrender. When I do stop, I reconnect with knowing that every little ting is going to be alright. That it IS alright.

I am going to list two from this past year; In short - career and home. For the longer version I invite you to continue reading. For photos of the house (and Brazil) visit www.planetranger.com/loveandacceptance

1. Career, life purpose and yoga

I tried to coordinate going to India to study yoga with Yogi Vishvketu for three years in a row, never managing to manifest the month off or the $ to do so.

Last spring I decided to resign from my position at a non profit organization, but not before finding something else (which is unusual for me). I looked for three months but nothing resonated with my heart.  So in June, with fear in my heart but willing to surrender and trust I left the position not knowing what I was going to do to support myself.  I headed to Brazil to run a half marathon as part of a fundraiser for Diabetes and visit a friend. Just prior to departing I saw that Yogi Vishvketu was going to be teaching the 200 hour Hatha Teacher Training in Ottawa (where I live) beginning the day after I arrived back from Brazil! I registered, had the most amazing experience and graduated a month later.

2. Dream home

We looked for a house for almost a year. We wanted to live in the country but close to the city. We wanted to live in the city, but close to the country. We wanted to live on water, close to nature and bike and running paths but also be able to go to the cinema or theatre or out to a restaurant when we wanted.  We made our wish list - fireplace, bathtub, trees, wildlife etc.. 

 Lat spring we began to view houses and although we hadn't found anything perfect, began to put in offers, had inspections, went through the process over and over in our neighbourhood where houses are highly in demand and going tens of thousands over asking price. Each time it didn't work out I KNEW it wasn't the house for us however I was tiring of the "bidding wars" taking place and although I kept saying say, I did not want to participate in that kind of market. I didn't want to perpetuate that kind of market I did, because I wanted a home. So in December after the final offer experience I decided that I wasn't going to participate anymore and to just let it happen. To let the house come to us. And so I did just that - I let go.

That same night we decided to go for a drive and chill. After a nice evening and on the way home my intuition told me to cross the bridge to Quebec, to take a right and then a left and a right  bringing us to my very favourite street in Gatineau, Hull which faces a canal and a little theatre on an "island," is 5 minutes from downtown but is surrounded by old growth pines and feels like you are in the country. Lo and behold there was a house for sale! I had run this street many times before in 2004 dreaming of living here.

I called the realtor; we saw the house a week later. Made an offer a week later and closed the deal a week after that. Not only was that the type of buying experience I was looking for, but we now live in our dream country home in the middle of the city where we look forward to relaxing and to hosting our family and friends.

. Surrender and trust, surrender and trust. All that is meant to happen will, and when I am ready.

I am loving the view outside the window of my new home. I love the man in my life and all that we share. I love my friends and family. I love the rays of sunshine coming through the frosty trees. I love the squirrels that run and jump from tree to tree and the way the snow falls from the branches & floats to the ground as they do. I love the growth that comes from looking at struggle as opportunity. I the life I have led so far and all that is to come. I love my Self.
More frosty photos at http://www.planetranger.com/loveandacceptance

It was a period when I achieved many goals and attained many dreams including taking yoga teacher training, purchasing my first - and dreamy home and learned to love someone for who they are and not what or who they could be.

I set down roots and for the first time in my life,  creating stability. I manifested travel, a wonderful relationship, began to reconnect with creativity, ran two half marathons and continued to follow my heart and my dreams - and believing, knowing they could & would come to fruition. I loved lots, learned lots, lived lots and in many ways, I grew up. Now if only I could have been more focused lol!

Tatiana Ishwari

I would hang out in our backyard and spend hours on my swing-set just floating and flying and singing and in heaven.
To this day I take the time to swing when I come upon a park or feel the need to get lost.

Art School

The backyard; the swing set, canvas covered sandbox, my maple tree, my cat Fluffy who used to climb it with me, flipping rocks in the garden (to see the squirmy creatures which dwelled underneath. Good times.

These daily questions have supported me in taking one minute a day to reflect .

Finding this community, and even just knowing it exists, the energy and open heartedness and honesty gives me hope that things are shifting and this warms my heart and makes me smile.

Tatiana Ishwari

Which is my favourite? Or my most sensitive? My most sensitive is my sense of smell. I can smell anything from far away which makes walking by smokers or sitting near people with perfume or cologne challenging. I cannot stand any chemical smells either. I am super sensitive to the point where it can be annoying however, I cannot blame my body for not liking those things.

When I describe things or tell stories there is usually an element about the ways things sounded. I have acute hearing, but I do not necessarily "see" all when I am walking down the street or through a forest for instance. Unless I am consciously Present. In social situations I tend to pick up on energetic interactions.

I also LOVE the taste of great food and drink.

Hmm, only thing missing is touch...maybe I need be more mindful of this. Something to bring awareness to today. Like the silky feel of the keys on my keyboard as my fingers brush against them whilst typing this.

I did a workshop with Wade Imre Morissette called "Broaden Your Perspective." We learned about the Koshas and then took an experiential journey into ourselves using asana, breath, dance and meditation.

I "heard" that I am craving to be fully self-expressed creatively - to dance, sing, play music, move and I know also, to honour the photographer in me.

I had an aha moment when during a free form dance exercise I was fine dancing freely on my own but when we formed a circle and each had to take a turn to go in a huge amount of fear welled up in me. When I did jump in (more to get it over with than for the joy of it) I got all stiff and try to think of a cool choreography rather than let my heart lead. This awareness lead me to see that what is holding me back is a fear of being seen.

This is funny because as far as opening my heart or emotions - no problem - I had a nice release during the exercise and walked around the room looking into the other participants' eyes with watery eyes. But to dance joyfully? Apparently I have work to do here :) Perhaps this is why, despite the support of teachers, writers, editors and friends, I left being a professional photographer and have never shown my work.

I learned that where I have a fear of being seen and that I am being called to do so for my own joy and to be fully self-expressed.

Today is the Hip Hop Yoga & Core Meditation workshop  and I look SO looking forward to it!!

Thank you Wade for the guidance and to my fellow workshoppers for your participation and support.

Tatiana

Being at the cottage - water, sunshine, swimming, exploring, rowing and just being ouside. Family brunches on the beach.

Traveling.

Swinging.

Being free.

Tatiana Ishwari.

Oh man. I hate that the first thing which came to mind was money. And then the fact that I resisted this and thought - why not? Why are you afraid to ask for this? Because money does not bring happiness? I don't need money to make me happy - I AM happy. But I'd like to do more...for me so that I can do for others. That is why I do what I do.

Because it is a cliché to ask for this?

Because it seems so unoriginal?

I have lots of support and help with projects and life but a financial boost would help get my yoga company & other ideas & projects off the ground (more quickly).

Money would allow me a sunny vacation swimming in the ocean which I really need right now.

It would allow me to hire help to do the accounting and write text and create marketing packages.

For me financial help would buy me TIME. Time to chillax. To Be.

Or maybe I could just ask for time. ::::: (that's a little release) :: I guess that is what I need help with, because being an entrepreneur takes lots of time and energy and it seems I need more for me. So if you could help me have more time.... Then I could do all the things I want to do like write and connect with people, practice yoga daily and live a joyous balanced healthy life which I think I already do but seeing as I am 3 days into my vacation and haven't stopped working yet cause there is so much to do I guess I could use some support there.

And maybe in being patient - with my self and work and learning and growing etc.

You can help me create abundance in ways I have not yet done so - taking time for (to love and nurture)  me and building a company which is financially, creatively and spiritually abundant and built with peace, love and light and compassion.

Thank you for this question and this healing.

Fine - I know that I am, no matter what.